We are working on expanding our "Try This At Home" section to provide additional tools and helps for your marriage. In addition to the primary tools listed in the menu on the left, we have added the following. Let us know what you think and how they help.
As it turns out, the common slang “wanna do it?” may not be the best choice for increasing feelings of closeness and relational satisfaction in marriage. Couples with a broader, more descriptive and erotic language may do much better.
Research suggests that most couples do not talk openly about sex with each other. Many do not even have a shared language for discussing what they do and don’t like sexually. We tend to let non-verbal communication rule in this area of our marriage. Unfortunately, non-verbals are easy to misinterpret, which can result in a major barrier to sexual intimacy.
A recent study highlights the role of sexual language as it relates to sexual and relational satisfaction. Although participants reported a low level of sexual communication in general, those who more frequently used sexual terms were also more likely to enjoy higher relational satisfaction -- especially closeness.
Have you ever thought about why God created sex they way He did?
I've listened to hundreds of people sort through their beliefs about sex. Rarely were we taught healthy messages growing up.
As adults, developing a healthy sexuality begins with sorting through our attitudes and beliefs. Sexual intimacy as a couple grows as we share our attitudes and beliefs with each other. I invite you to click on the picture at the right to download a list of questions about your sexual attitudes and beliefs. Sort through the questions and share with your spouse the ones you are comfortable discussing. Let us know your experience.
One of the top exercises I recommend to couples wanting to heal or enrich sexual intimacy in thier marriage is to read a book on marital sexuality together. For maximum benefit, follow the following:
- Choose a time when you can be alone and undisturbed. You need a private setting where children or others will not overhear you.
- Pick a comfortable place. I highly recommend you read in bed.
- Read out loud to each other. Take turns doing the reading.
- Pause often to discuss what you are reading. Do you agree with what the author said? Does it describe you or your spouse? Is this something you would like to address in your marriage? The goal isn’t to read from cover to cover, but to be vulnerable and intimate in discussing the subjects presented in the book.
- Make sure you try any exercises or discussion questions listed in the book.
To get you started, I recommend the following books for your consideration.