Are You Cultivating Good Relationship Soil?

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by Ben Adamson, MA

For most of human history, we have been personally tied to the land we live on as a source of sustenance. In this modern age, advancements in technology have all but severed this connection. While there is a move back to more locally grown food, chances are the food you eat travels hundreds of miles to get to your table.

While there are undoubtedly advantages to our modern system, there is certainly much that has been lost due to the disappearance of a personal vested interest in the land. 

For example, little thought goes in to what it takes to produce food pulled from a grocery store shelf or ordered at a fast food window. There is something about working the land with your own hands that makes you intimately aware of all that goes in to producing a sustainable crop. This awareness would naturally make you more vigilant in protecting and stewarding the land. 

I can’t help but see the parallels in farming the land and cultivating a good relationship.

https://unsplash.com/@gabrielj_photographyWe have a choice. We can make the choice to become intimately invested in what it takes to make a great relationship and the environment in which it grows. Or, we can continue to move through life settling for ordinary relationships, with little thought of the effort needed to cultivate a great relationship.  

Much like tending a field, a great relationship will require work, indeed a great relationship should require work. When we become personally invested in the environment of our relationships, we will naturally be more vigilant about what we allow in to that environment.

When we as men do not choose to become personally invested in the environment of our relationships, we allow harmful toxins and pollutants to seep in.

Shopping in the grocery store is safe. No blisters, no inclement weather, no wild animals, and you probably won’t even break a sweat. Farming on the other hand brings with it inherent risks, but also greater rewards.

Just as working the land requires “painful toil” and the “sweat of your brow,” cultivating the soil for a healthy relationship will require something of you as well. While this may not be physical labor, it will require a certain amount of discomfort and vulnerability.

It will be challenging as we overcome the fears of moving out of our comfort zone. We all wrestle with questions of Am I enough? Do I have what it takes?

The man who puts in the work to cultivate good soil, will ultimately have the chance to taste the fruit of a great relationship.

It’s true, you can survive on a diet of frozen dinners and your relationship may be ok. However, if you want to taste the freshness of a well-tended crop, you must get out of the grocery store mindset and begin to get your hands dirty cultivating good soil. 

Are you ready to begin the process of cultivating a great relationship? Are you ready to get your hands dirty? If so, one option is signing up for our newest men’s group Scary Close.