Dancing in the Bedroom: When One of You Wants Sex More Than the Other Podcast
Ron Deal, Director of Family Life Blended at FamilyLife, sat down with Dr. Sytsma at a recent conference to discuss sexual desire in marriage. Specifically, they discussed when one bids for sexual connection more than the other. Airing on Valentine’s Day 2022, this podcast is an informal chat covering what Dr. Sytsma has learned in the last 20 years of studying sexual desire.
Michael and Ron have been friends for a number of years. “I love Ron’s heart for people. Not only has my friendship with Ron enriched my life, but I have also learned a lot from him,” commented Dr. Sytsma. “It’s always a joy when we are able to grab some time at a conference or ministry function. I am very supportive of him and his work with Step Families. I recommend his material very regularly.” (Find more at more about Rob’s work here).
In this podcast, Ron and Michael discuss a variety of subjects on sexual desire including:
- What is sexual desire?
- Who has the high desire in a marriage?
- When she has the higher desire.
- Initiating vs receptive sexual desire.
- How Christ illustrates a healthy way to handle sexual desire.
- Is “no” an acceptable response to bids of sexual connection?
- A contextual look at I Corinthians 7:1-6.
- Learning to be seductive.
- Sex as an object lesson.
Quotes from the podcast:
“The latest research … shows only 22% of couples are reporting a similar level of desire… So we’ve got a lot of couples, the majority of couples that have a discrepancy.””I really believe that sex as it is, was given as God’s object lesson.”
“We want to be wanted, we want to be desired. We want to be chosen, we want to be pursued. And I do think that’s part of the image of God that’s in us.”
“In the book of Revelation, Christ identifies himself as the groom. And he’s talking to his bride. And he says, Behold, I (the groom), stand at the door and knock. I don’t stand at the door and pound, I don’t stand at the door and whine and moan and complain, I don’t try to bust down the door. Christ stands there and he just gently, politely knocks … He waits with patience. And he says, If anyone will open the door, I will come in, and we will have a sensual feast together. And so he’s giving us the imagery of how this works.”
“What if we chose to live seductively day, after day, minute after minute? I am seeking to be my best. I am seeking not to be an unreal person, but I’m seeking to be somebody that draws you to me—that you want to be with me.”
The podcast on sexual desire in marriage is almost 45 minutes long. Give yourself some time to listen to it. Then, pass it along to a friend, post it to social media, and let us know what questions you have.
Looking for more on the topic of Sexual Desire in Marriage?
Check out our online video course. This “try it at home” teaching is over 2 hours of brief video clips with worksheets and exercises. A great way for you and your spouse to open discussion on the topic.
Learn More About Sex Therapy in Atlanta, GA
At our Atlanta, GA-based therapy practice, we approach sex therapy with a faith-based approach. We believe that God created sex as a way to connect deeply in your marriage. We would love to meet with you to guide you into a more passionate and intimate sex life. Our sex therapists have years of experience and skills to help make an uncomfortable conversation easier. Get started with these steps:
- Schedule your first therapy visit here.
- Choose a sex therapist who is best for you.
- Start finding more intimacy in your sex life!
Other Therapy Services at Building Intimate Marriages
Sex therapy is only one way that Building Intimate Marriages helps couples cultivate their marriages. If you are looking for other relationship issue supports, consider discernment counseling, affair counseling, and divorce counseling. Additionally, our team hosts intimacy workshops and seminars to nurture your relationships in a group setting, too. Let the therapists at our Atlanta, GA area therapy practice help you start feeling closer in all aspects of your relationship.
