Every Couple has a Sexual Dance – Java with Julie Podcast

Java with Julie Podcast 406 - Every Couple has a Sexual Dance - sexual desire and the heart of sex

“Yesterday I heard an interview with Michael Sytsma on the podcast, Java with Juli, and was blown away. He profoundly explained everything I see to be true of marriage and sex and spoke with such God-given wisdom and authority.” (podcast listener)

Image of Michael Systma, a Christian sex therapist in Atlanta, GA. This image depicts him with the name of the podcast he’s been on, “Every Couple Has a Sexual Dance. What Does Yours Say About You?” With Dr. Michael Systma. Get started with sex therapy in Atlanta, GA here. | 30518 | 30519

Julie Slattery from Authentic Intimacy caught up with Dr. Sytsma at Winshape Retreat for an unscripted chat.

Every couple has a dance—we dance around our wounds and our insecurities, both inside and outside the bedroom. In this conversation with Dr. Juli Slattery, Dr. Sytsma shares his thoughts on:

  • How intricately intertwined our sexuality is with our spirituality.
  • Why sexual intimacy precedes spiritual intimacy for most couples.
  • How Jesus gave us an example of how to invite another into intimacy: “I stand at the door and knock.” Husbands, what does it look like to apply this example to your sexual relationship with your wife?
  • Why the statement, “Wives can’t compete with porn” isn’t true.
  • How healthy couples can re-energize their relationship and bring fun, play, and creativity back to their sex life.

Listen to “Java with Juli” episode #406: Every Couple Has a Sexual Dance here or in your favorite podcast app.


Quotes From the Show

Image of a quote from a sex therapist, Dr. Michael Systma in Atlanta, GA. This image says “I believe sex is God’s divine object lesson. And when we figure that piece out, it opens a door to a spiritual intimacy.” Get started with sex therapy in Atlanta, GA to build intimacy. | 30024 | 30097
“[Sexuality] is what we can see on the surface, it’s the tangible. If a couple comes in and tells me how they kiss, if they tell me how they have sex, I know everything there is to know about how the couple interacts with each other. I can tell you how they manage their budget. I can tell you how they parent. Because it is such a deep way that reveals the way the couple dances. And we have a way that we dance as a couple, as, as people.”

~ Dr. Michael Sytsma

“What does it take for a husband to seduce his wife? Well, she has to teach him. Different women are seduced by different things. And some women have totally shut down any ability to be seduced. And others, it’s not too tough to seduce them. But she has to teach him. And the same for, ‘What does it take to help somebody to heal?’ Well, the wounded individual has to teach you. ‘Here’s my wound. And here’s how it was created. You know, my wound was created in the back seat of a car while I was dating. When I let it go too far and I was deeply wounded. And here’s what triggers me. And every time you say this, or you do this, or you ask for this behavior, my fear just rises up to protect me. Here’s how to help me keep my fear in check.’”

~ Dr. Michael Sytsma

“You know, when we were dating, we seduced each other. It was, ‘I’m going to be the best person I can be when I’m around you to draw you to me, to get you to where you want to be around me.’ And then somewhere after marriage, we look over at our spouse and say, ‘I am who I am—deal.’ And I think, ‘That’s not right. How do we continue to live seductively?’”

~ Dr. Michael Sytsma

Listen to the Podcast Here

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Java with Julie Podcast Site – #406 Every Couple Has a Sexual Dance



Every Couple has a Sexual Dance on Apple Podcast



Image of a couple dancing in the bedroom. This image depicts a couple who may be seeing a christian sex therapist in Atlanta, ga. Get started with sex therapy to build intimacy through Christ. | 30041 | 30043 | 30005

Learn About Your Marriage’s Dance with Sex Therapy in Atlanta, GA

Figuring out your dance as a couple can be difficult. You don’t have to do it alone, as a sex therapist in Atlanta, GA can help facilitate this work. Get connected with sex therapy to help your relationship with these simple steps.

  1. Schedule your first therapy visit here.
  2. Begin sessions with a sex therapist.
  3. Start figuring out your dance as a couple!

Other Services at Intimate Marriage

We know that relationships require dedication outside of just your sex life. Besides sex therapy, Building Intimate Marriages provides other guidance for couples. We can do this with premarital counseling as well as marriage counseling. If you are looking for other relationship options, consider discernment counselingaffair counseling, and divorce counseling. Additionally, our team hosts intimacy workshops and seminars to nurture your relationships in a group setting, too. Your sex life is just as important as the other aspects of your relationship. Let the therapists at our Atlanta, GA area therapy practice help you start feeling closer in all aspects of your relationship.