Dr Mike was interviewed by Ryan Gray for North Point Care on the subject of pornography and culture. While recorded for their care leaders, the video is available on YouTube. Check it out and let us know what you think.
Pornography and Culture: Part 1
Pornography is a taboo topic, especially in the church. People are usually hesitant to talk about their struggles with pornography openly, and many feel like pornography is a personal issue that should be kept private. However, pornography is damaging to intimacy and marriage, so we have to talk about it to prevent it from damaging relationships. In this age of technology, pornography has become more accessible and prevalent in our culture than ever before. The only way to get ahead of this issue, and heal from it, is to start a conversation about it. In this two-part blog series, we are discussing the damage that pornography can cause in relationships, along with the steps you can take to heal your relationship if it’s been impacted by pornography.
The Prevalence of Pornography in Our Culture
Pornography is more accessible than ever before. With just a couple of clicks, men and women of all ages can find pornography for free and engage with it without anyone ever knowing. In 2016, there were over 40,000 websites dedicated to pornography and 92 billion videos watched on just one platform! Pornography has become such a commodity that even if you’ve never been on a pornographic website, you’ve probably seen billboards, ads, or other types of media with explicit images.
As a Christian, you may think it’s sinful just to talk about the topic of pornography. However, as much as we’d like to, it’s become harder to avoid the conversation around pornography. Even in the church, we have to acknowledge how pornography is damaging not only to our culture but to our relationships as well.
How Pornography Damages Christian Relationships
Pornography is damaging to relationships for a number of reasons. These are a few of the most common ways that pornography can have a negative impact on people’s relationship with their partners, and their relationship with sexuality in general.
Pornography causes people to lose their sense of intimacy
Sex should be about love, intimacy, and connection with your partner. However, pornography doesn’t care about that – it’s only about the body, the technique, and the rush. Since it’s not about intimacy, it draws people away from the heart and the purpose of sex. It causes people to lose that sense of that intimacy, and to think of sex as a purely physical activity instead of an emotional and loving act.
Pornography gives people unrealistic expectations of sex
Pornography isn’t real life. Just like with movies, the people who create pornography make sure that the editing, lighting, angles, and makeup create an idealized version of sexual acts. When people engage with pornography, they start to think that sex should look like what they see on screen. This causes people to stop being enthralled by the experience of real sex, along with many other issues as well.
Pornography causes people to compare themselves to what they see on screen
As I mentioned in the last section, pornography gives people an unrealistic expectation of what sex should look like. This includes what our bodies should look like. Many people compare themselves, or their partner, to the bodies that they see on screen. This can lead to people becoming uncomfortable or insecure about their bodies, which makes sex less enjoyable for people and their partners.
Pornography creates issues with sexual arousal
For all of the reasons listed above, pornography creates issues with sexual arousal. When people are so drawn into the fantasy of pornography, the richness of the real doesn’t have the same ability to excite people. This inevitably makes it challenging for people and their partners to have a healthy and intimate sexual relationship.
Pornography can lead to dishonesty and mistrust in relationships
Since pornography is such a secretive act, it can lead to dishonesty and distrust in relationships. If someone is hiding their pornography use from their partner, it creates an environment of mistrust and deception. This can have long-lasting effects on the relationship, even if the person does eventually stop using pornography.
Sex therapy can help with healing from the negative impacts of pornography on your relationship
If pornography is something that you or your partner are struggling with, it’s important to remember that there are things that you can do to heal. In our next blog, we will be diving into the steps you can take to heal yourself, your relationship, or support your partner as they heal from their use of pornography
Begin Sex Therapy Near Atlanta, GA
We know that this can be a sensitive topic, which can make it daunting to begin treatment. However, you will not regret working with a sex therapist to gain a more intimate and loving relationship. Our skilled therapists have the skills to help you and your partner increase your passion and intimacy. If you are ready to get started at our Suwanee, GA-based counseling practice, follow the steps below.
- Schedule your first therapy visit here.
- Begin sessions with a knowledgeable sex therapist.
- Start finding more intimacy in your sex life!
Other Therapy Services at Building Intimate Marriages
We know that relationships require dedication outside of just your sex life. Besides sex therapy, Building Intimate Marriages provides other guidance for couples. We can do this with premarital counseling as well as marriage counseling. If you are looking for other relationship options, consider discernment counseling, affair counseling, and divorce counseling. Additionally, our team hosts intimacy workshops and seminars to nurture your relationships in a group setting, too. Your sex life is just as important as the other aspects of your relationship. Let the therapists at our Atlanta, GA area therapy practice help you start feeling closer in all aspects of your relationship.